Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Everyone Wants a Clintern!

For my first trick, I would like to introduce you to Francwa Sims, author of the Anacostia Diaries.

In the long, masturbatory "motto" devised to characterize his literary-cultural exploits, Sims declares himself the "voice of the voiceless." (Mercifully, he also claims to be the "disgusting, sticky gunk under [my] refrigerator." Not only is this description far more apt, it also reminds me that I should devise a way to clean under there.)

After four frustrating years of thankless blogging and a book that Sims wrote and published all by himself (do yourself the favor of reading the glowing review, also), he has seen the light! Francwa Sims needs an intern!

But not just any intern, mind you:


I am nothing short of devastated, you know: how could I have guessed that my affinity for women would one day preclude my being the duped sextoy intern of the esteemed Mr. Sims. Alas, alas.

Not being given to indulge in "sour grapes," however, I enthusiastically recommend the position to my heterosexual sisters. I will rest easy knowing that Sims's future colleague will surely be treated with the same respect he customarily affords female interns.

And "just kidding" about that whole being-comfortable-with-nudity line! The nudity is requisite; being comfortable is totally optional.

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